My last birthday inspired a few realisations in me about friends and life. And more importantly birthdays!
Through our life, we make 'n' friends, whose degree of attachment with you vary with time and situations.A new environment introduces you to new people. In a strange environment, strangers become companions.You stay with them, slowly finding your feet in the crowd. As time passes, you become more confident, you become comfortable in your skin, you start following your interests, and perhaps new found dreams. You gradually start losing touch with those companions whom you referred to as friends. You don't realise it, but before you know they are just some other acquaintances.The silence with them is awkward, more so in the common parties. The jolly parties with those friends have turned into glum parties with acquaintances. But you go with the act because 'it would be rude to come out of the group', 'you'll become a lone soul', 'you'll have not many to turn to during need' and 'you'll not have a crowd to party with at the end of the day'.From my university days, this clash of 'to be or not to be' with the so called stranger-friend crowd has boggled me . Some days , I would think its nice to be around people, on others , I would just prefer being alone. But, my general tendency was to just listen to my heart and not act. People thought of me as arrogant perhaps, or even egoistic and was censured. But , I am what I am; I could not bear falsehood in relations.
I accept now, that a lot of things I fought for with my friends were highly irrational. But, I am glad that my behavior prompted only the best to stay with me. Rather, only those who could bear with me ;) !! Now, I understand that something need not be wrong just because I don't approve of it. I try to blend in, float with the crowd. But I cannot change my nature- the general dislike for feigning friendship still exists. I do not act. But I do practise cordial behavior with fellow mates. That is the least even I would have expected from a person like me.
This sudden outburst is the result of my birthday. I am a part of a huge group with whom I did not wish to spend my birthday.So, I decided to take a smaller group of amicable people to an expensive restaurant.At the end of the day, I felt bad. I had not laughed heartily, I had not received any surprises and worst of all, I had to also pay for the night. And in that group was perhaps one of my best friend till now.
This left me with a few questions cum realisations-
Birthdays are special even without fancy surprises and gifts. Thank god for your life and live each day with jest. There's no need for a special occasion called birthday.
Appreciate a person for what they are, dont expect them to fit a definition. Too much of expectations leads to downfall of good relations.
Don't expect surprises on your birthday even from your bestie ;)
People remember you if they want to. There's no need of fancy surprises/hand-made cards. Because nobody fucking cares to do anything special for you. Those who do, will do so without expectation :)
So love and give to people out of love , not out of expectations ! You' ll be at peace :)
Through our life, we make 'n' friends, whose degree of attachment with you vary with time and situations.A new environment introduces you to new people. In a strange environment, strangers become companions.You stay with them, slowly finding your feet in the crowd. As time passes, you become more confident, you become comfortable in your skin, you start following your interests, and perhaps new found dreams. You gradually start losing touch with those companions whom you referred to as friends. You don't realise it, but before you know they are just some other acquaintances.The silence with them is awkward, more so in the common parties. The jolly parties with those friends have turned into glum parties with acquaintances. But you go with the act because 'it would be rude to come out of the group', 'you'll become a lone soul', 'you'll have not many to turn to during need' and 'you'll not have a crowd to party with at the end of the day'.From my university days, this clash of 'to be or not to be' with the so called stranger-friend crowd has boggled me . Some days , I would think its nice to be around people, on others , I would just prefer being alone. But, my general tendency was to just listen to my heart and not act. People thought of me as arrogant perhaps, or even egoistic and was censured. But , I am what I am; I could not bear falsehood in relations.
I accept now, that a lot of things I fought for with my friends were highly irrational. But, I am glad that my behavior prompted only the best to stay with me. Rather, only those who could bear with me ;) !! Now, I understand that something need not be wrong just because I don't approve of it. I try to blend in, float with the crowd. But I cannot change my nature- the general dislike for feigning friendship still exists. I do not act. But I do practise cordial behavior with fellow mates. That is the least even I would have expected from a person like me.
This sudden outburst is the result of my birthday. I am a part of a huge group with whom I did not wish to spend my birthday.So, I decided to take a smaller group of amicable people to an expensive restaurant.At the end of the day, I felt bad. I had not laughed heartily, I had not received any surprises and worst of all, I had to also pay for the night. And in that group was perhaps one of my best friend till now.
This left me with a few questions cum realisations-
Birthdays are special even without fancy surprises and gifts. Thank god for your life and live each day with jest. There's no need for a special occasion called birthday.
Appreciate a person for what they are, dont expect them to fit a definition. Too much of expectations leads to downfall of good relations.
Don't expect surprises on your birthday even from your bestie ;)
People remember you if they want to. There's no need of fancy surprises/hand-made cards. Because nobody fucking cares to do anything special for you. Those who do, will do so without expectation :)
So love and give to people out of love , not out of expectations ! You' ll be at peace :)
